Friday, September 24, 2010

Why's it all?

Dukkha (doo-k-kha) : Dissatisfaction with the world.

I was wondering why I paint.  It sounds like a simple question with a simple answer: I like making stuff.  But what stuff? why? The same answer can be applied to any multitude of things I choose to do.  Why do I: fold origami; draw; craft jewelry; program; knit? Why do I feel compelled to take up: glass blowing; ceramics; silk screening; animation; carpentry; engineering; tatting; cooking; ice sculpture; metal working; Celtic knotting?  What is the point behind: bicycling; fencing; unicycling; juggling; aikidou; qi gong; tai chi; Japanese (not to leave out the things I want to to do: rock climbing; swimming; parkour; gymnastics)?  Why have I settled on painting and physics? What about these two raises them above the rest?  Are they fundamental? Are they better than the rest?  Are they just broad?  And why two?  Why not three? Why not one?
I'm already stretched to my limits if these two are to be considered main, and the rest minor. And then I get asked "Do I see myself combining them"? Into what? What could these two possibly become together? Why these two? Why not any other combination of ANY other obsession?
Is glass not good enough?  What does "good enough" even mean?  Must I paint with an agenda?  Why don't I paint free body diagrams on old masters?  Why not the probability distribution of an electron?  Why not atom smashers? scattering experiments? galaxies? the universe?
...And in the comic below I realize I've successful combined physics and drawing. Should I paint comics?  It might be fun.  But then why am I bothering to paint it?  Is that really the right medium?  Does it give my comic historical authority? Do I care about historical authority?
I paint GLASS! It's fun! I like looking at things.  I like observing the world around me, studying it; That's why I'm interested in physics.  Painting about physics may be too self referential. Whatever...
I'd wear it on a T-shirt.
Fun fact: This post has 32 rhetorical questions and 15 statements!

1 comment:

RavenQ42 said...

XD Totally T-shirt worthy :)
And Don't fret so much over the "worthiness" of your particular hobbies, obsessions, etc.
Continue to make it through the program you have chosen, and when the mood strikes you to knit, juggle, or climb a mountain, incorporate that into your schedule wherever feasible (Weekends, during a bout of insomnia for the former two, etc).

Remember that progress needed not be measured in hours or days, nor in decades or lifetimes.

Establishing a sense of contentment and fulfillment is far more significant and can always be done at your pace!
As for the requirements of your classes and your maintaining your satisfaction with them...that's an issue I've been thinking about recently as well (predominantly for someone else I know). If you find the material in your coursework to be dull or monotonous at points, remember that you're learning to become more than your assignments. If a given course's assignments feel stale and "unworthy of your time," do them! (ie, don't shirk your assignments lol), but following that, reinvigorate your experiences with physics! Watch a talk by Michio Kaku or Feynman and just revel in the idea of discovery again. It won't necessarily make the coursework any better, but it will ensure you don't feel as down about the subject matter as a whole! (Insert equivalent example for each of your interests)

Keep posting the cool things you make too! But that's more for my benefit than yours XD